Sadly, I didn’t love The River of No Return the way I was hoping to.
So, Nick is an English dude from the 1800′s who is about to die in a nasty battle when suddenly he transports roughly 200 years into the future to 2003. Cool. An organization called the Guild picks him up, makes him spend a year learning about the modern day along with some other accidental time travellers, and then sends him off with a buttload of money to quiety live the rest of his years in the northeast of America. A decade goes by and Nick is quite accustomed to the fun things of our age – easy women, jeans, cars, watches and all that – but then he suddenly gets a summons from the Guild. They’re sending him on a mission back to his past.
Julia is a young lady in the 1800′s mourning the death of her grandfather. Her giant douche of a cousin shows up to inherit the estate, and he constantly quizzes and berates Julia while he searches for some special object that he thinks gave her grandfather his ability to manipulate time. And then Julia finds out that SHE can manipulate time as well, and must struggle to hide this from her cousin and try to escape his clutches.
So obviously when Nick goes back, he and Julia cross paths (easy enough, since they lived next door) and fall in love, yada yada yada.
Let’s start with the things I really liked about the book, kay? I liked the whole idea of time travel via feelings. Apparently you use emotions to travel along the river of time. Interesting concept. I liked the idea of a secret society (the Guild) and the idea of time travelling, being taught about the time you’re in, and then being sent on your way to just chill. I liked Nick well enough, as well as Julia. They both had spunk, which I enjoyed. I also liked Arkady, who was a grumbly Russian guy who said things like this:
“You are a man. We will save her. Why? Because it’s beautiful and romantic to do so. We will fight this maniac like the men we are – with fists. Why? Because it’s beautiful and romantic to do so.”
How can you not love that?
But now on to the things that made me not love this book…
The thing between Nick and Julia had a hint of insta-love about it. I mean really, it’s very love-at-first-sight.
My biggest complaint: It was so slooooowww. By page 160 (out of 450), the main characters hadn’t even really met yet. By page 300 I was glad that the romance factor was finally picking up but I STILL felt like I was waiting for the story to start. There was so much build-up and mystery to the secret society conspiracies that it seemed to take forever to get anywhere, and I felt just as confused and frustrated as Nick did. And I felt like the end is where things really finally started to happen, which means it ended with some unresolved issues. I’m assuming there might be a sequel, but it’s not confirmed on the Bee Ridgway’s website as far as I can tell.
Sooo yeah. The writing was enjoyable, but the storyline was just way too drawn-out for me. Even if I knew a sequel was coming, I’m not sure I’ll want to read it because it took SO LONG to be set up in this book. I’ll have to wait and see.
I am pretty sure I’m in the minority here - plenty of fellow bloggers read and loved this book, so don’t be discouraged. Give it a try. Maybe The River of No Return just wasn’t my jam.
Sarah Says: 2.5 stars

























Classics Club March Question
Hi there!
Finally, a question I can answer that isn’t based on my sad little list of books read off of my Classics Club list! I’m sure I’ll eventually love those questions after I’ve made more of a dent, but I don’t want to talk about the same couple of books over and over again, you know?
Anyways, here’s the Classics Club question for March:
“Do you love Jane Austen or want to “dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone”? (Phrase borrowed from Mark Twain).
I totally love Jane Austen. Screw you Mark Twain (cause I’ve only attempted to read The Prince and The Pauper by you and found it super boring and tedious, but I’ll try something else by you later).
Anyways, Austen. Yes. The only book of hers I haven’t read yet is Mansfield Park, which I’m hoping to read later this year. I love her because she’s the master of witty insults masked in politeness, and she includes a lot of social commentary in her books about love. Her books aren’t the MOST romantic – characters rarely ever express their love or kiss or anything until near the end – but the parts that are romantic are EPICLY romantic. There’s a reason Darcy’s proposals to Elizabeth Bennett, Wentworth’s letter to Anne, and so on are so well known.
I also like that her novels are all so different from each other, in content and style. Northanger Abbey is so ridiculously different from Pride and Prejudice.
I haven’t been able to pick a favorite Austen. I love Emma because Emma is snotty and rich, I love Northanger Abbey because it’s dark and goofy, and I love Persusasion because it’s full of social criticisms and romance. I of course love Pride and Prejudice because come on… I just have to. It was the first Austen I ever read or saw, so it has a special place.
My least favorite Austen is definitely Sense and Sensibility. Edward is a lousy Austen hero – he’s boring and awkward and you have no clue why Elinor is so attached to him. Colonel Brandon is super awesome, but he doesn’t get nearly enough time on page. He’s the most romantic and his love for Marianne is the best, but all that gets glazed over. LAME.
So what do ya’ll think? Love it or leave it when it comes to Austen? Favorite Austen novel? Austen novel you can’t stand?
~Sarah
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Tagged as classics, Classics Club reads, epic love stories, Jane Austen, romance, social commentary