Tag Archives: christopher moore

May 8, 2012 · 9:39 am

Top Ten Tuesday: Favorite Book Quotes!

top ten tuesday

Gooooooood morning! It’s time for Top Ten Tuesday, hosted by The Broke and The Bookish, and this week’s topic is Top Ten Favorite Book Quotes. Onward, shall we? I got lots to do today.

1. From Drums of Autumn by Diana Gabaldon:

“And when my body shall cease, my soul will still be yours. Claire—I swear by my hope of heaven, I will not be parted from you.”

Awwwww. Jamie.

 

2. From A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore:

“Don’t be ridiculous, Charlie, people love the parents who beat their kids in department stores. It’s the ones who just let their kids wreak havoc that everybody hates.”

Take note parents – THIS IS TRUE.

 

3. From The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran:

“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair”

Probably the first Gibran quote I ever fell in love with, though there are lots now.

 

4. From Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie:

“Your cat just got cat hair on me.” “It’s only fair,” Min said. “Your suit just got expensive suit lint on him.”

Again, lots of great quotes from this book. But this one is the perfect about of snarky funny, plus I feel more entitled to post it now that I have a kitty :)

 

5. From The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss:

“I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep. You may have heard of me.”

SERIOUSLY, READ THIS BOOK.

 

6. From Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte:

“He’s more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”

Ahh Emily Bronte. Ever the crazy romantic.

 

7. From Graceling by Kristin Cashore:

“I’m not going to wear a red dress,” she said.
“It would look stunning, My Lady,” she called.
She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. “If there’s anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I’ll hit him in the face.”

LOL. Katsa.

 

8. From You Suck by Christopher Moore:

“She knew it should bother her more, being evil and all, but after she put on a little mascara and some lipstick and poured herself another cup of blood-laced coffee, she found that she was okay with it.”

Seriously, I could make this ENTIRE post a “Top Ten Favorite Christopher Moore Quotes” post. But I’m trying hard not to.

 

8. From Wicked by Gregory Maguire:

“But she woke up just then, and in the moonlight covered herself with a blanket. She smiled at him drowsily and called him “Yero, my hero,” and that melted his heart.”

Awww. Elphie & Fiyero :-)

 

9. From Married With Zombies by Jesse Petersen:

“Give each other a compliment every day. Even when the undead attack, its nice to feel pretty. Or badass.”

Can’t wait for zombie apocalypse. I have a feeling the honeyman and I will do quite well together.

 

10. From Emma by Jane Austen:

“I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other.”

Emma is really underrated. And more women should think like this.

 

OK so those are some of my favorite quotes! I could go on for pages and pages. Also, I really wanted to put a quote from Beauty Queens by Libba Bray in here but I couldn’t pick just one. There’s too many great ones.

 

So what are some of your favorite quotes from books?

~Sarah

 

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May 7, 2012 · 7:00 am

Sacre Bleu by Christopher Moore

Sacre Bleu by Christopher Moore

 

Christopher Moore’s most recent novel is about blue. Vincent van Gogh went mad before shooting himself in a cornfield, or did he? In the time before he died, he was raving about a twisted little colorman, and had become terribly afraid of a certain shade of blue. But he was at the height of his painting career, so why would he walk into a cornfield to shoot himself, and then stumble over a mile away to a doctor’s house? His friends are on a mission to figure it out. Lucien Lessard, a baker who desperately wants to be a successful painter, and his friend and fellow painter Henri Toulouse-Lautrec, try to discover the mystery surrounding the tale of the twisted little Colorman and that beautiful, rare blue.

First let me say that Sacre Bleu is a beautiful book. The hardcover is gorgeous, with nice thick pages and a dark blue font. There are a ton of full-color pictures of famous paintings scattered throughout. Also, there is an online chapter guide that features even more paintings, as well as notes from Christopher Moore about different paintings, inspirations, etc. I really hope that the online chapter guide comes out as a companion book, because I would absolutely buy it.

The story itself of Sacre Bleu is so different from what I’m used to seeing from Christopher Moore. There was a bit of mystery too it, but it was a lot about the art too. I learned more about art / paintings / Impressionists than I really ever thought that I would. I was definitely intrigued by the little Colorman and his weird blue sidekick. I liked Lucien, but my favorite character was Henri - he was weird and ridiculous, but also had a sweet side to him. (Plus, he is mentioned in Outlander when Claire meets a man with Toulouse-Lautrec syndrome, though she can’t call it that because Henri Toulouse-Lautrec hadn’t been born yet.) There was kind of a big cast, but Henri really stole the show.

So, I can’t go too much into the details of the book because I don’t want to be spoiler-y. I can say that this isn’t my favorite Christopher Moore novel. It seemed more… serious. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of bawdy humor in it, but for the most part that’s what it was – bawdy sexual humor with a little bit of genuinely weird humor sprinkled in. None of it ever actually made me laugh out loud, which is rare for a Moore novel. However, part of this is just because of the subject matter – a lot of the characters and events are based on real people and things that really happened, so it doesn’t have that element of total Moore wackyness that I’m so used to.

Even though Sacre Bleu wasn’t my favorite and wasn’t the usual hilarious read that I like, I feel like this will stick with me in a way that some of his other novels haven’t. For example, I remember reading Fluke and really liking it, but I don’t remember a lot of the details. I feel like I savored this book so much more as I read, due to the topic and because of all of the pictures and the online guide. It really came to life for me, which makes it a worthy read.

 

Sarah Says: 3.5 stars… (4 stars if the chapter guide comes out in book form, or as an addition to the paperback copy)

 

 

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November 22, 2011 · 8:25 am

Top Ten Tuesday: Authors I’d Have At My Thanksgiving Dinner

Good morning guys and gals (mostly gals), it’s Tuesday! Yay! I’m excited because my sis and baby nephew are spending the night tonight, but it’s also an exciting day because it’s time for Top Ten Tuesday, hosted by The Broke and The Bookish. This week’s topic is Top Ten Authors I Want at My Thanksgiving Dinner.

 

 

1. Christopher Moore – Because he wrote Lamb, and A Dirty Job, and so many other novels that make me laugh my ass off. And I am thankful for those. And I am sure he would be hysterical in person as well.

 

2. Diana Gabaldon - Because I will forever be grateful that she brought the Outlander series into the world. And so I can hound her for information about future books.

 

 

3. N.K. Jemisin - I loooooove her Inheritance trilogy (AKA The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms  / 100K trilogy). And I think she would be fun and snarky and interesting. And I think she’d be fun to get into political / social discussions with.

 

4. Matthew Norman – I REALLY enjoyed Domestic Violets. However, there were a couple of things I didn’t like about it, so I’d like to invite him so that I can hound him about any other novels he has in progress and make sure he doesn’t make the same mistakes. (I’m so rude.) Also, he seems pro-Obama in the book. Yay!

 

5. Emily Bronte – Because I love Wuthering Heights, and so I can quiz her about the rest of her family. I really wanna know if Charlotte Bronte was the crazy super-bitch I suspect she was.

 

 

6. George R.R. Martin – Because I want to ask him how in the bloody hell he keeps track of the HUGE number of characters and crazy plots in the A Song of Fire and Ice series. Which I love for it’s epicness.

7. Libba Bray – Okay, actually before I meet Libba I need to read more of her books, because I’ve only read Beauty Queens and thought it was AWESOME. And she seems like the kind of weird person I’d get along with. Plus, look at her glasses! I would try to steal her glasses, those are cute. And to ask her if she goes by “Libba” because that way, her name kinda looks like “library”. Yes, these are the thoughts that I think.

 

8. Patrick Rothfuss - Because he’s PATRICK F-IN ROTHFUSS. I need insider info on the rest of the Kingkiller Chronicles! And he has to being baby Oot with him to dinner – normally I wouldn’t allow children, but his blog posts about his son are just so cute.

 

9. Paullina Simons – Ya’ll know how much I love The Bronze Horseman and Tatiana & Alexander. But the last book in the trilogy, The Summer Garden, was AWFUL. And I need to beg her to re-write it. I realize that’s a crappy reason, but it’s that serious.

 

10. Jane Austen – Because the invite list wouldn’t be complete without her! I have so many questions for her – like which of her novels was her favorite, and how does she feel about the Brontes, and what does she think of the skanky-ness and general impropriety of this generation?

 And of course I’d hit up each of these authors for their autographs in my copies of their books, because ya know… I’d HAVE to.

And there are a bunch of other authors I’d want to include – Jesse Petersen, Philippa Gregory, Mercedes Lackey, Anne Bronte, and yeah, it wouldn’t be just a “dinner”, it’d be a damn banquet!

Okay folks, that’s all I got. What are your author picks? OH, and go vote in my December poll on the right-hand side!

~Sarah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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September 3, 2011 · 4:05 am

To be or not to be… a supernatural creature.

So, recently reading and reviewing Perfect Fudge by Hazel M. Larsen (see previous post) has got me thinking about supernatural creatures, and the choices characters make in these books about whether or not to be one (if they even have the choice). Now, as a human I don’t want to live forever. I’m hoping to keel over when I’m a little over 70. But as a supernatural creature, it’d be so fun to be immortal. I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

So, here are a bunch of supernatural / paranormal / fantastical beings I’ve read books or seen movies about.

Angels: I’m about to get a little spoiler-y here, because I want to clarify why the angels in Perfect Fudge (see previous post for review) are so cool and a fun concept. As you know if you read my review, it introduces a unique concept of guardian angels. These guardian angels don’t really have any biblical connotations, but they help people. They can also fly, teleport, turn invisible, cook food with their mind, heal, clean with the blink of an eye, and whether they start out older or younger, they’ll eventually and then forever appear to be in their 20′s. Of course this is a kind of new version of the idea of angels, but I think it’s awesome.

*I would totally choose to be an angel. There’s almost zero downside.

Vampires: Of course the paranormal lore is different according to legends / authors / movies, but most agree that vampires drink blood (human or animal in most cases), have super speed and strength, and are burned by sunlight. I think the slight majority opinion is that vampires can hold on to their humanity if they choose – at least Christopher Moore, Anne Rice, Charlaine Harris, and Stephanie Meyer think so. (I probably just discredited this theory a bit by mentioning Meyer, but hey whatever). I personally agree with this – I think vampires can choose how humane they want to be. I don’t believe that vampires are “damned”, but that has more to do with the fact that I don’t believe in heaven or hell, so how could I believe in damnation? And even if someone showed me proof that all that existed and your soul could be damned… well I don’t know if that would convince me not to be a vampire.

*If a vampire walked up to me tonight and offered to make me a vamp… I would definitely want to say yes. Honestly, the only thing holding me back here is that the honeyman said that if I was a vampire, he’d have to try to kill me. And you know, that kind of means breaking up, and I don’t want that, I love my honeyman. Honestly, angels can do more cool shit than vampires, but for some reason the idea of being a vampire is more appealing to me… it’s probably just more familiar of an idea.

Werewolves: Again, the lore is really different here. Some say that werewolves only change during a full moon and have no control during that time. Some say that weres that change whenever they want and are conscious the whole time. Most agree that you transform into a big huge scary wolf-like creature (unless you’re the director of the 3rd Harry Potter movie, in which you think weres transform into some weird, sad hairy mandog-looking creature). Generally though, werewolves are bad-ass and powerful and scary-looking.

 *Whether or not I agree to be a were would depend on the lore we’re going with here. I personally choose to think that weres are like the ones on True Blood – that they can change at will and know what they’re doing when they’re in that form. And if that were the case then hell yes I’d be a werewolf.

Witch / wizard: Okay, does this one even need much explaining? The term witch general means one who can do magic – cast spells, has powers, etc. They’re usually not immortal. My personal favorite? The Charmed witches. I love Piper. Oh and Harry Potter of course, can’t forget him.

*I’d agree to be a witch in a heartbeat.

Elves: Elves are cool fantastical creatures. They’re usually nature-nuts, proud, arrogant, secretive, and skinny. But they’re also powerful, graceful, and have magical abilities. In most fantasy, elves are not to be trifled with.

* I suppose that yes, I’d agree to be an elf. Even if meant me getting all weird and slender looking.

Fairies: I think that sometimes the lines between fairies and elves blend and are kind of together called “fae” creatures. I usually think of fairies as little pixies – tiny winged creatures with magical abilities, like Tinkerbell. Gotta love Tink.

* I don’t think I’d agree to be a fairy… depends on the scope of magical abilities. But I think I’d feel too vulnerable being that tiny, and the biggest appeal of being a supernatural creature is being able to feel like the shit and be powerful and stuff.

Mutants: Now here’s a fun one. I’ll let in on a little secret… I believe almost any of these paranormal creatures could exist. Who the hell am I to say that they don’t just because I’ve never had the luck to meet one? I know, I know, I’m like a big kid. Anyways, I like the idea of mutants because to me they are the most likely supernatural creatures to exist. Well, actually they’re still technically humans. They’re not magic, they’re just evolutionally-advanced humans. But still, I’m counting em. Think of the X-Men, the X-Men are awesome! Sure, some of them have pretty lame mutations, but most of them are cool and useful in some way (after all, the point of nature evolving like this would be the progression of human life).

* Sign me up! I know I’m 24, but I’m still hoping some sign of cool mutant abilities will show… or maybe I’ll just go the Alex Mac route and get cool mutant-like powers from radiation and chemicals :-) It’s either mutant powers or cancer… 50/50 odds aren’t too bad, right?

Zombies: Okay, who the hell would want to be a zombie? I’m including them on the list because they are a really popular paranormal creature these days, but they’re basically rotting humans that can’t think anything other than “BRAAAIIIINSS”.

* Hell no, I wouldn’t be a zombie. But I can’t wait for the zombie apocalypse so I can be a zombie-killer! I’ll judge anyone who actually says they’d choose to be a zombie. Weirdo.

Unicorns / Dragons: These are two of the most popular paranormal animals really. Unicorns are supposed to be all sweet and crazy magical, and dragons are supposed to be all nasty and fire-breathing. Honestly, I think both are really cool but I don’t think I’d ever choose to turn into one. I’d feel like a magical pet.

Giants / Goblins / Leprechauns: So these don’t need much explaining. Giants are huge, goblins are tiny and mean, and leprechauns are tiny and lucky. I think I’d reject all of these just on basis of size. 

 Gods: Well, gods are pretty self-explanatory too. I’m thinking of two sets of gods in particular – the Greek mythology gods, and the gods and godlings in the Inheritance Trilogy by N.K. Jemisin. Either way, all are bad-ass. I love that gods are such all-powerful beings, but that they’re also usually petty just like humans. I don’t know why humanity ever gave up on Greek gods as a religion, I probably would have been a believer.

*I would totally be a god. You practically can’t be killed, and you are the baddest mofo out there. Seriously as powerful as all hell. For someone whose severe lack of ambition means I want to be a housewife, I’m surprisingly power-hungry when it comes to paranormal creatures.

I think that covers most of the supernatural creatures I’ve been thinking of…

Oh, and for funsies here are some of my favorite books / movies relating the all of the above:

  • Perfect Fudge by Hazel M. Larsen (angels)
  • Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris (vampires, werewolves)
  • Inheritance trilogy by N.K. Jemisin (gods, godlings)
  • Bloodsucking Fiends /You Suck / Bite Me by Christopher Moore
  • Interview With A Vampire by Anne Rice
  • X-Men movies
  • Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon (time-travellers, not mentioned)
  • Living With the Dead series by Jesse Petersen (zombies)
  • Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini (dragons, elves, fae)
  • Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (witches, wizards, unicorn)
  • The Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss (wizards, fae)
  • True Blood tv show (vampires, werewolves, fairies, fae)
  • Charmed tv show (witches, leprechauns, giants, fairies, vampires)

So, whatcha think?

If one of these creatures walked up to you and offered to make you one of them, would you do it? Which one would you want to be the most? Any that I missed that you’d choose to be? Or would you go the crazy route and refuse them all and choose to remain human?

 ~Sarah

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August 23, 2011 · 11:00 am

Top Ten Tuesday: Books I Loved That I Haven’t Reviewed

Hey ya’ll it’s Tuesday and for once I almost FORGOT that it was time for Top Ten Tuesday (hosted by the lovely folks over at The Broke and The Bookish). I was so excited to start reading for Day 2 of the Bout of Books Readathon that it slipped my mind until I saw a mention of it on Twitter. Oops.

So, this week’s topic is Top Ten Books I Loved But Haven’t Reviewed. For me, there are a bunch of books that I reviewed on Goodreads before I really got into blogging, so those are probably going to take up the majority of my list. Let’s make this quick!

1. Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen – This is still my favorite S.A.A. book, but unfortunately I’ve only reviewed her latest book, The Peach Keeper, here on the blog. Ironically, that one is my least favorite of her’s so far.

2. My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares – I thought this was a lovely start to a timeless love story, and definitely gave it 5 stars on Goodreads. Sadly, I haven’t heard any news about a sequel yet, but if there is one then I’ll be sure to re-read and review this book before it comes out.

3. The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran – This is a wonderful book / long poem, and I’ve read it twice but sadly not since I really got my blog up and running. There’s a reason it’s a candidate on my list of books for this readathon though :-)

4. White Oleander by Janet Fitch – This was one of my favorite books since I was about 15 years old. I re-read it a year or two ago, so probably won’t re-read it for a long while. It’s definitely a great book, one of those books that I think maybe isn’t that great until I re-read it and remind myself that it’s beautifully written and hard to put down.

5. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert – I know a lot of people don’t like this book, but I personally really enjoyed it. I devoured it in about two days, and was definitely caught up in Elizabeth’s journey. I think I may have to re-read this sometime soon and review it here, so that I can post my arguments defending it.

6. Philippa Gregory books – I have read at least nine of Gregory’s books, and she’s one of my favorite historical authors. The Other Boleyn Girl is still one of my favorite books. But somehow I haven’t really read any of her books since I started blogging. How is this possible? I think a re-read of TOBG might need to happen before the year is out…

7. Roots by Alex Haley - Yes, I read the book. I’ve never even seen the movie, which is what everyone told me to do instead. But the book was fantastic, and again I feel like I need to re-read it soonish.

8. The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver – Again, this is still one of my favorite books. I love it, I’ve re-read it several times, but somehow that hasn’t happened since my love of blogging arose.

9. Lamb, Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and more by Christopher Moore – Another one of my favorite authors who has been sorely neglected on this here blog. I have been making a conscious effort to read the books of his that I haven’t read yet so that I can review them here, and I re-read and reviewed A Dirty Job, which is awesome.

10. The Help by Kathryn Stockett – Yes, that’s right – I read it before there was even MENTION of a movie. I read this back in 2009, way before I had started to blog seriously. It was an extremely well-written and likable book, and with all the movie hype I feel like I should re-read and review it, and then compare to the movie.

 

I haven’t even reviewed all of these on Goodreads – some of them just have star ratings. But for those of you that are interested enough, you can click here to see my Goodreads profile and browse through my “read” shelf to see what else I’ve reviewed that hasn’t made it to the Sarah Says blog yet.

What books have you read & loved but not reviewed?

~Sarah

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July 8, 2011 · 3:30 pm

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore

Charlie Asher is a typical Beta Male who has the misfortune of losing his wife while giving birth to their daughter, Sophie. On the same day, Charlie sees a big tall black man in a mint green suit that no one else can see. Ta-da! Charlie just became a Death Merchant. Now he has to rescue souls in the form of objects from the Forces of Darkness and pass them on to their new owners, all while trying to keep his daughter safe (with the help of two hellhounds, of course). It’s “a dirty job” but someone’s got to do it!

So that’s basically the premise behind this awesome kick-ass book. For reals, I little-numerical-heart Christopher Moore. He’s hysterical. This book was a re-read for me – I read it years ago and a lot of it just stuck with me. There are some really memorable characters – the big tall mint-green-suit black man, for one. Sophie is adorable and a little creepy. Lily, one of Charlie’s employees at his second-hand store, is goth and funny and snarky. And Charlie… poor Charlie. The book goes into a lot of depth about the Beta Male psyche and it’s just too funny to watch Charlie bumble about and try to do his best to stop the Underworld from coming topside in San Francisco.

Also, there are creepy little squirrel creatures in ball gowns. Can’t beat that.

So, this book is funny and intriguing and it’s awesome that Moore can write a book about Death and what happens to souls when people die, but totally make it work with his special brand of dark, twisted humor. Plus, there are a TON of funny quotes that make me giggle just thinking about them. For example:

“…the Beta Male gene has survived not by meeting and overcoming adversity, but by anticipating and avoiding it. That is, when the Alpha Males were out charging after mastadons, the Beta Males could imagine in advance that attacking what was essentially an angry, wooly bulldozer with a pointy stick might be a losing proposition, so they hung back at camp to console the grieving widows.”

Hilariousness. This book was definitely worth the re-read, and is probably one of my favorite Moore books. And I’ll probably re-read it again in another couple years :-)

Sarah Says: 4 stars

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May 18, 2011 · 4:42 pm

>Practical Demonkeeping by Christopher Moore

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I cannot believe I haven’t reviewed a Christopher Moore book on this blog yet!!! Chris Moore is one of my very favorite authors – he’s absolutely weird and hysterical. I re-read his novel Lamb last year, but apparently it was before I really got into the swing of things on the blog.

So, this is Moore’s debut novel. Surprisingly I hadn’t read it yet – actually, I’ve now read all but 3 of his books. Kind of like Jane Austen, I try to spread them out. Luckily, Chris Moore is still alive and kicking and still writing, so there will be more from him, but still. I like to spread his novels out for pure enjoyment.

Practical Demonkeeping is about a man named Travis, who has been traveling the country with the demon Catch for the last hundred years. Travis looks about 25 but he’s actually been around since the 1920s-ish, constantly traveling and trying to find a way to send Catch back to hell. Catch has a nasty habit of eating people, and while Travis can try to hold him back, he can’t rest until he sends the creepy bastard back where he came from. Finally, his search leads him to the tiny California town of Pine Cove, where he hopefully finds the answers he’s looking for.

I enjoyed this novel for a bunch of reasons. Partly because Pine Cove and it’s residents appear in future Christopher Moore books, so I was able to see them again and learn more about them. Catch also appears in another novel (Lamb), and while he’s technically a bad guy cause he’s a people-eating demon – he’s also really snarky and kind of funny. I was glad to see so much of him in this book. There’s also a hint of mythological and biblical backstory, in which we learn who exactly Catch is and when he was Earth-side up before.

While there weren’t a whole lot of laugh-out-loud moments, there was a lot of witty wordplay. And I liked this quote the best:

“Are you saying,” Brine interrupted, “that the human race was created to irritate Satan?”
“That is correct. Jehovah is infinite in his snottiness.”

I totally enjoyed meeting the residents of Pine Cove all over again, but I will say that sometimes I got kind of lost in the big cast. I guess that’s where this really shows that it’s Moore’s first novel. It’s my only complaint.

If you’re new to Christopher Moore, I wouldn’t recommend starting with this one. Try Lamb, A Dirty Job, or Bloodsucking Fiends first. This is still a worthy read though, and I’m glad I own it and can add it to my Moore collection.

Sarah Says: 4 stars

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