Well, I almost forgot about this today! My bad. I’ve been in a vacation-y, anniversary-y, Borderlands-y vortex and ended up just reading this section today.


how to build a girl


Emily is hosting this lovely readalong of How to Build a Girl (THANKS EMILY!), and if you’d like to pre-order a copy of this you should head on over to Odyssey Bookshop to do that. And if you’re not readalong-ing with us, be aware – THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.

I admit – I fell asleep during this section. Partly it’s because dude, I’m tired. But also because there is a LOT of talk about bands that I know nothing about. I think I maybe recognized two band names.


But, let’s see how Johanna’s faring…

I kind of loved that she tries to adopt a new name, because she realized that she needed to do some work on herself a bit (don’t worry Johanna, you’ll spend the rest of your life knowing there’s things you can improve on – just be happy). There are so many times growing up that I kind of wished I could just not be me for a bit. OH and her putting quotes and song lyrics up on her wall. This was me EXACTLY. Index cards all over the walls, with quotes written on them in Sharpie.

“Some of it I write directly onto the paintwork, so it will never be lost, or blown away. I am collaging myself here, on my wall.”

She also perfectly describes my stress going into any new-to-me place, like a comic book store or a college campus, etc – “In my most paranoid fantasy, when I open the door, all the music will stop, and everyone will look up, like in a Wild West saloon bar when a stranger walks in.” I mean, I do better than Johanna in new situations, but barely.

Johanna’s mom is a BIT of a jerk in this section. I’m assuming she might still be going through her postpartum depression, but calling your teenage daughter who helps out with your younger kids a lot a “big fat crow” is a really crappy thing. I do like that she tries to keep Johanna in school though. She fails, but at least she tries.

So, when Johanna goes into the city to interview for a job writing music reviews and she does the misunderstanding the job offer thing… that scene was directly lifted from Moran’s experience that she recounts in Moranthology. I’ve actually only read two chapters of Moranthology so far – I decided to stop because her voice is very distinctive and I didn’t want to confuse myself by reading two Moran books at the same time. But oh look at that, it happened anyways.

awkward (2)


I get the whole write-what-you-know thing, but damn. Some of it was word-for-word, and I guess I’m just a little disappointed that she couldn’t think of an different awkward moment for Johanna to have at her interview. How to Build a Girl seems like it’s turning out to be VERY SUPER autobiographical, from what I can tell, and that’s a bit of a letdown because I was excited to read her FICTION. Sooooo now I hope she writes another novel and that it’s a bit more creative.

I’m all over the place here, but one more thing – her dad ups his level of assholeness. He immediately sees Johanna’s new job as a way to get his ridiculous dream as a musician, and he goes with her to her first work assignment/gig so that he can drink on her company’s dime and then drives home drunk. Brilliant. I know a lot of people here readalonging kind of like her dad, but he more and more is so similar to my own dad that I just can’t stand it. It’s frustrating. I hope she realizes how crappy he is. She can still love him, but hopefully also will see him for what he is.

On a happy note, I love that Johanna mentions this -

“Rock music needs very supportive bras, I note, holding onto my own bosoms as I leap up and down, doggedly. This is something the music press had never mentioned. They have so little guidance for girls.”

high five


Stuff like that is why I still really like Johanna and am excited to see where else her story goes. More things like this and less band name-dropping, please. And I apologize to you guys for my brain being scattered in this post. I’ll be more organized next week… probably.



Howdy there ladies.

how to build a girl


It’s Mondaaaayyyy, which means we have finally read some of How to Build a Girl and get to talk about it! Emily is hosting this lovely readalong (THANKS EMILY!), and if you’d like to pre-order a copy of this you should head on over to Odyssey Bookshop to do that. And if you’re not readalong-ing with us, be aware – THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.


So we have met our intrepid heroine, Johanna. And what is she doing when we first meet her? Masturbating. Next to her brother.

what are you doing

do you not


So, go Johanna for masturbating, I guess? I mean, “If I can’t go on a date with a boy…. then at least I can go on a date with me. A bed-date, i.e., a wank.” is a sentiment I can totally get behind. But dude…. not next to your little brother.

I instantly feel for Johanna, because her dad is a pathetic ass, but she loves him. I get this. I kind of hate her dad, but that makes me sympathize with her. I hope she learns to stand up to him as the book goes on.

Joanna starts peeling potatoes because she’s acting-parent of this household, and this little gem gets dropped on me:

“I carried on peeling potatoes. I love this peeling knife. It fits so snugly in my hand. Together, we must have peeled tons of potatoes. We are a good team. It is my Excalibur.”

And that just might be my favorite passage so far. It’s hard to compete with my love of potatoes.

Her poor mother… I feel super bad for her. I feel like I shouldn’t. She’s married and choosing to stay with a man who has never grown up and learned to take care of his family, and she is absolutely miserable because she has twin infants now and that just sucks. And seriously people, BIRTH CONTROL. And yet, I still feel bad for her. Maybe I’m just feeling particularly nice, because normally this shit would infuriate me. Especially with Johanna being all

“Currently we don’t have a mother. Just a space where one was.”

sad baby


I hope that her mom gets her shit together and kicks their good-for-nothing father out of the house.

So ANYWAYS, Johanna accidentally lets the cat out of the bag, in that she expresses to a neighbor that her crappy father is cheating the system and getting assistance, and she’s terrified that she has just caused the downfall of her entire family. This poor girl. Losing their assistance might have been the best thing to ever happen to her family, because her parents would have been forced to try to find jobs, but still. She’s freaked, and starts very nobly trying to make some dough. Which leads to that hilarious but also heartbreaking appearance of her on TV. So first, she comes to the realization that she is not a pretty girl. That in of itself was just sad. This bright, hilarious, brazen girl sees herself in a monitor and sees herself as ugly and fat. And that was just heartbreaking.

crushing my heart

And then she does a Scooby Doo impression on television, which was just hysterical and also a little like watching a train derail. Sadly, it’s her father who has the best response (basically, don’t be a prat), and while I hate to admit that man can say anything of which I approve – I do. It was really the only thing to say.

So all in all, I’m actually really enjoying this and I’m glad because I wasn’t sure I would. This is easily the most I’ve highlighted quotes & made notes on my Kindle. But it’s hard not to like Johanna. She’s weird and funny and passionate, even when she’s not sure what she should be passionate about. She thinks her kisses are going to change the world, and well, this

“I don’t want to die for something. I don’t even want to walk in the rain up a hill in a skirt that’s sticking to my thighs for something. I want to live for something, instead – as men do. I want to have fun.”




I’m really glad I get to start the next section now. FINALLY. It’s hard waiting a whole week.






How To Build A Girl readalong: The Intro

how to build a girl



Hi guys!! *waves*

It has been too long since I’ve been able to do a readalong, so when I saw Emily’s post about this pre-pub readalong for Caitlin Moran’s new novel, I begged and pleaded to join in (really, I mentioned that if I spot opened up I’d love to join, and Emily hooked me up with a e-galley, because she’s super awesome).

true story


Most of you are familiar enough with me, but for any newbies joining – Hi, I’m Sarah, I read and blog stuff. Take a look around if that strikes your fancy. The only Caitlin Moran book I’ve read before is How to Be a Woman, which I admit I didn’t love. I had some issues with it, BUT I did like Moran’s writing style. She’s funny and sarcastic and angry, and that’s something I can always get on board with. I have been meaning to pick up Moranthology, but never got around to it. (Okay actually I forgot about it, and I just went to Amazon to make sure I had the title right, and it’s only $1.99 on the Kindle, so I’m getting that now and I’ll read it soonish.) Anyways, I was excited to hear that she had a novel coming out and I’m really glad that I’ll get to read it with ya’ll!

Sooo… not much else to ramble on about, I’m afraid. I hope the book is good, I’m sure the conversations and blog posts will be brilliant. I need to go GIF-hunting, because I’ve been MIA for so long and I need to re-stock and that seems like a good way to spend a couple hours. I’d like to thank Emily for getting us together on this readalong, as well as the folks at HarperCollins.

For anyone interested in pre-ordering the hardcover of How to Build a Girl, (it comes out in September), visit Odyssey Bookshop and get it done! I’m off to start reading this now (AKA after work), because I’m impatient.


bye bye



Fellowship of the Worms! The Rosie Project, a re-read


Good evening peeps. I’m running late with this post, because that is just the story of my life right now.

I was SUPER EXCITED when Katie announced that The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion was going to be the next Fellowship book club read. I listened to it on audio back in November and loooooved it, and I was looking for a good excuse to read my hardcover copy!

Be warned, there are spoilers here. GO READ THE BOOK, and then come back to discuss.

Katie asked us some questions, and I shall answer:

1. Pop Culture question here. Did anybody else get a SERIOUS Sheldon Cooper vibe out of Don? 

Mostly, no. This might be because I listened to the audio and hence Don had a wonderfully heavy Australian accent. Buuuut I think that Don’s personality was a lot different from Sheldon’s. Sure they both had a lot of the same mannerisms and habits, but basically Don was never intentionally a jerk and Sheldon kind of is. And you know, Don kind of WANTS friends and love, where as Sheldon is more the “screw you guys, I don’t need other humans” type. Of course, I love them both because I love jerks ;-)

2. Don’s social interactions are awkward at best, but his logic and adherence to routine give him some interesting habits. What’s your favorite Don-ism?

HA. Possibly his attention to fitness. I seriously admire all the jogging he did. And I agree with Katie, a somewhat Standardized Meal Plan has some perks to it. Aaaaand Don’s quite a fan of alcohol, and so am I!

3. Don’s “Wife Project” involves an elaborate questionnaire designed to weed out unsuitable matches. Have you ever made a list of qualities that are important to you in a potential partner? Do you think it’s realistic to expect any one person to live up to all of them? 

I have never done this. In all fairness, I’ve only had two major relationships and after the first one, my only real standard was “have a job”. And for the past 5.5 years I’ve been with the Honeyman, who is all sorts of wonderful and amazing and awesome.


4. What is it about Rosie that manages to break down Don’s defenses? Do you think that love requires a certain abandonment of logic? 

Well, I think that there was a slight insta-attraction thing there. Don didn’t notice it himself, but after one short 5 minute conversation with her he was already altering his behavior. But besides being attractive, I think Rosie accepted him for who he was. And when he said or did something strange, she was blunt about it instead of just giving him the hairy eyeball and running the other way.

Though I wouldn’t blame her if she ran away from this…


5. What was your favorite scene in The Rosie Project?

OH LORD. So many. That’s why I bought the hardcover before I was even finished listening to the audio - because I knew I was going to want to re-visit so many parts of the book over and over again. But I think the argument with the host at the restaurant in the beginning over what constitutes proper jacket attire is still my favorite.

If you’ve read and enjoyed The Rosie Project (and of course you have, because it’s fantastic), you should head on over to the Fellowship of the Worms post and join in on the fun!


Bleak House Readalong – “lawyers lie like maggots in nuts.”

Bleak House



It’s here, it’s here! I admit, I was super psyched when Alice posted sign-ups for a Bleak House readalong (because these readalongs are the best, duh), and then I was kind of regretting it when I saw how massive Bleak House was. Why did I think it was a measly 400 pages? ANYWAYS. And yes, I put off reading until the weekend which clearly didn’t go well, and I was all whiny about it, but now I’m just kind of loving it. My mouth is open and I’m looking around with just a confused, happy grin on my face.


happy endings gif

So there’s some lawsuit called Jarndyce and Jarndyce that’s been dragging on for decades and it involves a ton of people in some way, and any inheritance coming to anybody is just getting gobbled up by the legal fees and such. And no one even remembers the particulars of the case. K. I still have no real clue what’s going on – we know a bit about that Jarndyce guy who killed himself, and that numerous characters are in some way attached to the case, and that’s about it.

Esther is an orphan character (man, Dickens loved him some orphans, didn’t he?) who grew up knowing that her godmother/aunt hated her and wished she’d never been born, and “I knew that I had brought no joy, at any time, to anybody’s heart,” and CHRIST, even I felt sad for her. And you know me, and my general not-giving-a-crap about sad kids. But Esther’s story is definitely a bit depressing, and somehow this Jarndyce guy hears about her and looks out for her. And there are two other young people, Ada and Richard, who are guardians of his, and Esther becomes a chaperone or something for Ada, I guess? All well and good, because she’s kind of obsessed with Ada and they become insta-besties. And while Esther COULD be annoying because she keeps putting herself down and she’s a bit chatty, she’s also just a really sweet girl and she’s just so damn happy and grateful all the time, and I like her.

HOWEVER, my favorite character so far is Mr. Boythorn. He’s probably not a main character in this giant story, but he’s LOUD and talks in superlatives constantly and is all ridiculously angry and threatening to beat people up, ALL WHILST HIS YELLOW CANARY IS PERCHED ON HIS HEAD. And and “It is morally impossible that his name can be Sir Leicester. It must be Sir Lucifer.” I can’t even.

Mrs. Jellyby and Mrs. Pardiggle (Dickens, you’re killing me with these names dude) are both just so ridiculous and I’m not sure who is worse. Mrs. Jellyby for blatantly ignoring her kids while she pretends to be charitable towards Africa, or Mrs. Pardiggle who drags her kids around everywhere while she belittles poor people with her fake, insincere good deeds.

captain hammer gif

Mrs. Pardiggle reincarnated?


Mr. Skimpole! GET A JOB, YOU LAZY MOOCH. How can Mr. Jarndyce stand this guy?

Besides the absolute absurdity of everything that’s going on so far, I gotta give it to Dickens – he can write pretty awesomely when he wants to. There have been a few sentences or passages that I highlighted just because I thought they were beautifully written and evoked really strong imagery. So, props to you dude, I guess.

Aaaaand I think that’s all I got for now. I wanted to talk about chapter 11 and how things just all of the sudden got a tiny bit creepy and then that dude died and Krook is acting kind of shifty, but *whispers* I didn’t finish the chapter yet.

look at my wrist i gotta go





The Corrections readalong: THE END, THANK GOD.


We did it! We made it to the end! Major thanks to Alley for bringing us all together to read this awful, awful book. I literally couldn’t have done it if I wasn’t reading it along with you guys. And since we actually read the whole damn thing, you know what we get? Bragging rights. And the right to talk as much shit about Franzen and this book as we want. It’s like the people who read Fifty Shades of Grey just so that they can know what they’re talking about when mocking it.

So, going into this section I just wanted to be done and was all

dont care gif

about the characters because they’re all pieces of crap. And honestly, I’m a bit raged out. So let’s go over the notes I took…

  • page 465 when Al is thinking of his tumble into the ocean and he’s thinking he should have just drowned – YUP.
  • Apparently Enid’s travelled a lot, which makes me wonder how she can possibly be so narrow-minded about things and so whiny about money stuff. Travel is usually good for the soul, isn’t it? But maybe those things were just too much a part of her.
  • Caroline is motherfucking EVIL and lures Jonah into staying with her and his bratty brothers for Christmas, and Jonah is ruined forever. Because Franzen couldn’t just let us keep one decent character.
  • page 499 Gary decides to pee  into some container in the closet. What the fuck is wrong with him and Al that they’d rather be into objects instead of just using the bathroom??? I assume this is another weird glimpse into Franzen’s personality. Does he pee into containers too? Good god, his poor girlfriend (if he has one)…
  • page 504 Denise sleeps with a 17 year-old. Greeeaaaat. If she was a dude, her ass would be freaking arrested. Granted, I do think that a person 17 years old can be is responsible for his/her own decisions (one of the reasons I have issues with her sleeping with that Don guy), but I think there’s something a bit creepy about a 32 year-old going after a 17 year-old, whatever their genders.
  • And THEN Denise gets back together with Robin, just to treat her like shit. Sorry guys, I can’t see that she really loves Robin. Infatuated with her maybe, but you don’t treat someone you love like that. She’s no better than an abusive man.
  • But wait, there’s more – her sleeping with Don is the reason her father quit just before he was able to retire with his pension! I admire Al here for never breathing a word to anyone about it. And she doesn’t even try to apologize or explain – not that Al is mentally present enough anyways to remember or understand, but still. Christ.
  • Gary’s a douchebag.

youre a douche

  • page 547 “She flinched or sighed or shook her head at every spilled bite, every non sequitur.” - Way to be a bitch, Enid.
  • And of COURSE Chip ends up being the great son, the one who’s perfect and helps out his parents and takes care of Al. Because Chip = Franzy and obviously he thinks that highly of himself.

Omg, fuck this book so many times.

breaking bad gif

A whole cast of absolutely obnoxious characters all doing terrible things, and talking poop. That about sums this book up. I’m going to a  non-spoiler review of this book later, and I’m going to have a hard time expanding on that without spoiling everything.

I AM glad I read this, because it’s a popular book and an Oprah pick (what was she thinking) and because Franzen is such a highly praised author, and now I have something to base my own opinions on. Now at least I can join a conversation about Franzy and know a little something, you know? Not that I get into many literary conversations like that in real life, but the point is now I’m prepared.

Thanks to all my fellow readalongers, for making this book suck less by talking about it and using a ton of the best gifs. You guys are hysterical and smart and the best. And again a huge thanks to Alley, for being brave enough to host it and doing a pretty kick-ass job about it.

So, final thoughts? How’d you like the book overall? Are you going to try another Franzy?


The Corrections Readalong: Part 3

alan rickman what the fuck

Oh man. The Book of Horrible People continues. Thank you again to Alley for hosting this, because despite how much I’m loathing the book and Franzen, it sure is fun to bitch about.

So, this section starts off with an intro to a character named Robin, and her husband Brian, and how they know Denise. This part was pretty boring, partly I think because we learn about Robin only through her experiences with all the men in her life, including her absolutely psycho older brother, Billy. And then her husband becomes a millionaire, which is awesome, except she has some stupid guilt over it, and while I appreciate the good that she tries to do… she’s also kind of annoying. She didn’t do a damn thing wrong, but she’s all guilty and blah blah blah. She’s not a bad person (yet), but her weird self-righteous stand here was silly.

ANYHOO. So then we meet Denise! I had such high hopes for Denise… and then we learn that she apparently likes to go after married men. And then she talks a great guy into marrying her, and then decides she doesn’t want to be married anymore. So she kinda sorta decides to be gay, so she doesn’t have to feel guilty about leaving her marriage. And then that doesn’t pan out, so then she doesn’t date for a long time… until she meets Brian and Robin, and she – wait for it – SLEEPS WITH BOTH OF THEM.

awkward (2)

Denise is sneaky. Because otherwise, she seems like a cool person. She’s driven, she works hard, she loves food (I love people who love food!), she kind of tries to get along with all of her family (even douchebag Chip)… but she’s a horrible, horrible person. There’s no hiding that. She purposely tries to entice Brian into sleeping with her, and when Robin shows some jealousy, she spews out this little gem after getting off the phone with her:

“I could have fucked your husband!” she said. “And I chose not to! So how about a little friendliness?”


shut your whore mouth


Because OF COURSE Robin should be thankful that you made out with her husband but at the last minute decided not to sleep with him. I walk around all day thinking I should be friendly to all the women who decide not to sleep with my boyfriend (although my honeyman is famous for telling women to fall the fuck back when they try to get too flirty – Brian is a monumental asshole here too). *EYEROLL OF THE CENTURY*

Anyways, so because Brian initially turns her down, she decides to seduce Robin, and they have an affair for a while until she feels betrayed because Robin is still having sex with her husband (ohmygod, you hypocritical bitch), and then she finally worms her way into sleeping with Brian. And then they find out she’s been sleeping with them both, and she feels all hurt because Brian fires her after that. Denise is not as blatantly obnoxious as Chip, but she is JUST as horrible of a person as Chip. UGH.

Then things go back to Chip, and he’s living it up in Lithuania until – surprise, surprise – shit starts to hit the fan there. This part was pretty boring, with a couple “You’re such an asshole, Chip” moments. And then a tank shows up and the power goes out at the airport, so maybe Chip will die after all!



Maybe things are looking up…


I like how I end each section hoping that somebody (all of them) die. I have a feeling I’m probably not going to get that wish, but I could hope.

Let’s list some quotes that I just wrote “I hate you, Franzen” next to, okay?

  • “She was haunted, just as she’d feared, by the afterimage of his dick.”     (Yeah, that’s what we think to ourselves.)
  • “Her surfeit of gifts and opportunities, in comparison to Don Armour’s, manifested itself as a physical botheration – a dissatisfaction that pinching the sensitive parts of herself might address but couldn’t fix.”     (Maybe PINCHING is the problem. Don’t quite know how women work, do ya Franzy?)
  • “She felt positively shoved by Robin into Brian’s arms.”     (*eyeroll*)
  • “She also resented that the college was making her feel guilty about her privileges while granting certain lucky identity groups plenary indulgences from guilt.”    (Yeah, no college makes rich kids feel guilty. They love rich kids.)
  • “Gitanas scratched his scalp and smelled his fingernails,” (Gross, Franzy. Who DOES things like this?)

Anyways, so one more section of The Corrections! Any predictions? I’m thinking that Denise is going to sleep her way through the entire married population of St. Jude, Chip will annoyingly enough make it to Christmas but give everyone dirt for a gift, Gary and Jonah will show up and he might announce his divorce from evil Caroline, and Enid will slowly go crazy taking care of her horrible invalid husband while she tries to feed all of her terrible, selfish children Christmas dinner.




The Corrections Readalong: Part 2

about to spaz


Alright you guys… It’s #monthofFranzy post day! Thanks again to the fabulous Alley for hosting this for us :-)

I’m going to be super spoiler-y, people not readalonging, so beware. I can’t help it ya’ll… I’m going to be so SO ranty in this post.  Because, are you kidding me? This section consisted of Gary and his family, and then Al and Enid. Let’s start with the Gary parts.

At first, it wasn’t too bad. Gary’s constant reference to serotonin levels and psychology terminology was making me a bit eye-rolly, but whatever. I started to dislike Gary when he was acting like a total dick on the phone with his father, about the offer from Axon. Like I get his frustration, but at the same time, it really is none of your business. I liked his wife, Caroline, for about 2 pages. But MAN, they were just horrible to each other, weren’t they?

I initially liked Caroline because it was cool that she worked part-time without really having to, and that it was for that Children’s Defense something-or-other. But then it’s shown that she’s emotionally manipulative, lazy, and just kind of a bitch. I get that she hates her mother-in-law and that Gary promised her they’d never go to St. Jude for the holidays again, but it’s been almost a decade and he’s asking for ONE exception to make his mother happy before he presumably takes control of everything and sells their house. That’s a reasonable thing to ask of your spouse, and she was such a total child about it. UGH.

Also, this:

“Basically, I think your brother’s got the right idea. Here’s a sweet, smart, funny man who’s honest enough to say what he can and can’t tolerate in the way of get-togethers.”


shut the fuck up

She’s on Chip’s side? Seriously?

And of course Gary was self-pitying, spineless, sexist, and a developing alcoholic. Also, on page 225 the thought of his wife crying gives his “dead mouse” (how the hell is that a nickname for penis?!?) some excitement and he gets lusty. What in the name of fuck… So yeah, he sucks. I don’t hate him as much as I do Chip, but he’s still a giant asshole.


hate hate hate

My feelings re: all of these characters.


So now let’s discuss the train wreck that is Al and Enid. We learn a bit of their history – how Enid sought out a working man so that she could have an easy, happy, well-cared for life. HA. That plan really worked out. Al was an emotionally and verbally abusive dickwad to her throughout their marriage, even when she was pregnant. I see-saw between pity and disgust for Enid. On the one hand, her husband treated her like crap and I don’t think she did anything to deserve it. On the other hand… she let it happen. Instead of fighting back and demanding that he treat her with more respect and affection, she cried and took what he gave her. So basically their marriage was just horrible, and now she’s stuck taking care of him. She still love him, I guess, and it just all sucks.


eye roll

Because heaven forbid Franzen let any of his characters be happy…

And then of course, the part that everyone was talking about on Twitter while I was getting my stupid teeth cleaned at the dentist – the talking poo. TALKING SHIT. That happened.



I really, really want to know how some people can say that Franzen is the next Great American Novelist. I want to punch him. I wish he was on Twitter so I could tag him in tweets about how much he sucks. This is a man who has created extremely unlikable characters, seems hell-bent on making some really strange sexual references and analogies, and wrote a hallucinating scene about talking crap, and people are actually praising him for it? Al could have hallucinated literally about ANYTHING else and I would’ve felt bad for him (as bad as I can feel for a racist). As it were, I was so focused on the WTF-ness of the situation that I didn’t even care – I just wanted to be over with this long, drawn-out, never-ending section.

So, there we have it. I’m sorry, because I always feel like the angry one who hates the readalong books… but DAMN. On the plus side, it’s nice to be able to use so many of the angry GIFs I had saved on the computer, so at least it’s fun bitching about it with ya’ll :-) And who knows, maybe Denise will turn out to be a great character… but I’m not counting on it.

WTF to drinking

Hard liquor might improve my enjoyment of the next section. Sounds like a plan.


 So… what do you guys think? Did anybody actually enjoy the talking turd?






The Corrections Readalong: Part 1

woot woot


Can I just tell you guys how awesome it is to have a Friday readalong post again? Pretty awesome. Thanks, Alley!!!

So we’re in this now! And my main thought is CHIP IS SUCH A DOUCHE. And I believe it was Kayleigh on Twitter who said that Chip seemed like Franzen, and I agree. Which means that my hatred for Chip is kind of spreading to Franzen just a little bit.

id like to kick your ass

Both of em.

Alright, let me back up a minute. I’m seriously trying to keep an open mind here, because obviously all the douche-y things I’ve heard about Franzen are lurking about in my brain (and I read the links that Alley posted last week to his dramas and EYE-ROLL). But it’s pretty damn hard to not see him as a pretentious ass when I have to look up a word in the very first freaking paragraph and it basically means grass. (Zoysia was the word.) I mean I’m all for learning new words and expanding my vocab, but this happened a couple more times and I felt like he was just trying to impress me with his genius big words. Just say fucking grass. Zoysia might be a TYPE of grass, but as far as I can tell not that many people know the damn difference, so just chill.

bitchy gif

Am I being TOO bitchy? I think not…


I was telling the honeyman about this book and about the Franzen controversies and how Chip seems like the fictional embodiment of Franzen and how really superior and annoying he is, and he said that he sounds like Brian Griffin. And he’s SO RIGHT.


Except that I don’t hate Brian, and I kind of loathe Chip. So basically (because I haven’t really summed anything up, but you guys all read it, right?) papa Lambert is old and sick, and his wife is kind of sick of taking care of him, and she just wants all her kids to come home for one last nice Christmas. I don’t really see how that solves anything, but whatever. And then the story goes to Chip, her middle child and one of the most irritating, whiny, smarmy characters I’ve read in a LONG time. We learn about how he’s generally fucked up his life and what an asshole he is, and then it kind of comes back around to his parents again. Enid… well, she’s kind of annoying, but she’s annoying in a realistic, old-woman way. She reminds me of just a lot of random older women I’ve met. So I don’t hate her, and might even warm up to her by the end.

All this sounds pretty angry, but it’s really just my total amazement at how much Chip sucks as a human being (well, a fictional one). And the writing DOES come off too pretentious and “Look at me, I’m so literary and smart”, but it’s not SO bad that I can’t finish it. I have been able to sink into the story and get wrapped up in Chip’s crappy life story here and there, so the writing it’s all that bad. BUT I reserve my judgement for now.

*high fives* for not hating it yet!

*high fives* for not hating it yet!

So what are ya’ll thinking? Liking it, hating it, want to punch Chip in the face and push him down some stairs?


The Corrections Readalong: The Intro Post

Yayyyy, it’s a readalong reunion! Thank you Alley for taking on the awesomely huge job of planning and hosting a readalong :-) You are a braver and more motivated lady than I.

The Corrections

So this is where we say stuff about why we’re doing this or the book or Jonathan Franzen. I’ve never read any Franzen, though I know that he’s generally seen as kind of douche-y, but mostly because he spews out opinions about stuff and not necessarily because his books are bad? And giving opinions itself isn’t really douche-y by itself (unless they’re racist/homophobic/classist/etc asshole-y comments), but I haven’t really followed a lot of the drama, and Wikipedia was only marginally helpful. Apparently he said something mean about Twitter?


Don’t be mean about Twitter, dude.


Aaaand that’s about all I know about him. And I know nothing about The Corrections. I mean I read the blurb on the cover and apparently it’s about a family? And their crazy antics. Which could be really good, or really bad. Oh and I took a quick look at the Amazon rating, and it’s about 3 stars. But I’ve read books that had 5 stars on Amazon and I thought they kind of sucked, so that really doesn’t tell me much.

I’m going into this not really expecting to like the book, honestly. I mean I hope I do, but if it ends up being really good then I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Let’s face it – I’m here to hang out with your lovely faces and enjoy all the GIF-usage, and I am EXCITED.

Jesse Dance

Almost as excited as Jesse.


I’m sure some of you have more experience with Franzen, so tell me stuff! Are you psyched? Looking forward to the book? Healthily skeptical?