October reads

Horrorstor by Grady Hendrix




I’ve never been to an Ikea. I always kind of wanted to go to one, if they ever expanded and came to my area. But now… I don’t know.

Horrostor is a fun, gimmicky horror-esque novel. Basically, employees work in this Ikea-like store called Orsk somewhere in Ohio and they start noticing damage occurring overnight while the store is closed- broken dishes, knocked over furniture, defiled sofas, etc. The store manager selects two other people to pull an overnight shift with him in order to catch the vandals. But the vandals might not be human. Dun dun DUNNNNNNN.

As far as Halloween-reading goes, this was a good pick. It’s quick, it’s entertaining, and it’s creepy as all hell. The actual book is laid out kind of like a store catalog, which is just fun and quirky. I mean, I don’t really have anything to other than that it was a fun read, so if you’re still looking for a Halloween book to fit in this week – here you go.



Also, I pictured Basil, the store manager, as Moss from The I.T. Crowd. I don’t know why, but it possibly made it even more fun. I like Moss.


Sarah Says: 3.5 stars


Misery by Stephen King




Paul Sheldon, you poor man.

Apparently Misery is quite a popular Stephen King book. I completely admit to not even hearing of it until it was mentioned in the Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe Epic Rap Battle of History. And there’s even a movie of it, which I’ve never seen but now I kind of want to. I mean, come on, Kathy Bates. She’s pretty great.

Paul Sheldon is an author, famous for writing a series of regency romantic books about a character called Misery Chastain. Sheldon has grown to hate the Misery series, and gleefully kills her off at the end of the final book of the series. He’s now finished his newest book, a “serious” work of fiction, and celebrates by driving cross-country. In a snow storm, his cars slides off the road in a horrible accident. When he awakes, it’s in the hands of Annie Wilkes. She saved him from the wreckage of his car, and has been nursing him back to health because she’s his #1 fan. She has not alerted the authorities. When she finishes the newest Misery novel, she flies into a rage and demands that Paul write a book to bring Misery back, just for her. And if he doesn’t… well, she has ways of making him.

Annie is mother-fucking CRAZY. Whole numerous baskets of crazy. Paul spends most of his days writhing in agony from his horribly mangled legs, and becomes hooked on painkillers. Eventually he starts to write the Misery novel that Annie wants, using the act of writing as a way to escape his horrible reality.

Sooooo. Misery was good. Kind of your typical disturbing thriller book. The villain was crazy, the things that happened to Paul were terrible… but overall, I can’t say I actually really enjoyed the book, or even the characters. This might be why I don’t read this genre often – after the book is done, my only real comments is “Well that was messed up.” and I go on my merry way. It was a good distraction read, easy to kind of sink in to – but nothing to write home about.

On the plus side, I officially completed my R.I.P IX challenge! And a month early at that. I may fit in another King novel or some darker comics before Halloween, but we’ll see. I’m looking forward to some more light-hearted reads right now.

Sarah Says: 3 stars

October Poll, Come Get Your Vote On!

Hey guys. So first, an apology – I haven’t written / posted a review in TEN DAYS and that blows. I’m sooooo sorry, but work has been absolutely insane this week. I’ve been literally going on 4 hours of sleep a night, and work has been way busier than usual. I’m hoping to get back on track this weekend though, and hopefully by Monday you’ll see a review for last month’s poll winner The Solider’s Wife.

Anyways, so it’s time to vote for what you want me to read and review in October! I kind of tried to pick things that had a little bit of a fall / Halloween element to them. The descriptions are from Goodreads.com, and the poll is one the right-hand side of the page. So here’s the options:

The romance pick.

 Dogs and Goddessesby Jennifer Crusie, Anne Stuart, and Lani Diane Rich:  

Abby has just arrived in Summerville, Ohio, with her placid Newfoundland, Bowser. She’s reluctantly inherited her grandmother’s coffee shop, but it’s not long before she’s brewing up trouble in the form of magical baked goods and steaming up her life with an exasperating college professor. And then there’s Daisy, a web code writer, and her hyperactive Jack Russell, Bailey. Her tightly-wound world spins out of control when she discovers the chaos within and meets a mysterious dog trainer whose teaching style is definitely hands-on. Finally there’s Shar, professor of ancient history at Summerville College, who wakes up one morning to find her neurotic dachshund, Wolfie, snarling at an implacable god sitting at her kitchen table, the first thing in her life she hasn’t been able to footnote.

What on earth is going on in this unearthly little town? It’s up to Abby, Daisy, and Shar to find out before an ancient goddess takes over Southern Ohio, and they all end up in the apocalyptic doghouse…

The classics pick.

Dark allegory describes the narrator’s journey up the Congo River and his meeting with, and fascination by, Mr. Kurtz, a mysterious personage who dominates the unruly inhabitants of the region. Masterly blend of adventure, character development, psychological penetration. Considered by many Conrad’s finest, most enigmatic story.

The fantasy pick.

 Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell:

At the dawn of the nineteenth century, two very different magicians emerge to change England’s history. In the year 1806, with the Napoleonic Wars raging on land and sea, most people believe magic to be long dead in England–until the reclusive Mr Norrell reveals his powers, and becomes a celebrity overnight. Soon, another practicing magician comes forth: the young, handsome, and daring Jonathan Strange. He becomes Norrell’s student, and they join forces in the war against France. But Strange is increasingly drawn to the wildest, most perilous forms of magic, straining his partnership with Norrell, and putting at risk everything else he holds dear.

The literature / fiction pick.

Beloved by Toni Morrison:

Staring unflinchingly into the abyss of slavery, this spellbinding novel transforms history into a story as powerful as Exodus and as intimate as a lullaby. Sethe, its protagonist, was born a slave and escaped to Ohio, bur eighteen years later she is still not free. She has too many memories of Sweet Home, the beautiful farm where so many hideous things happened. And Sethe’s new home is haunted by the ghost of her baby, who died nameless and whose tombstone is engraved with a single word: Beloved.

The paranormal / spoof pick.

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter by Seth Grahame-Smith:

When Abraham Lincoln was nine years old, his mother died from an ailment called the “milk sickness.” Only later did he learn that his mother’s deadly affliction was actually the work of a local vampire, seeking to collect on Abe’s father’s unfortunate debts. When the truth became known to the young Abraham Lincoln, he wrote in his journal: “henceforth my life shall be one of rigorous study and devotion. I shall become learned in all things—a master of mind and body. And this mastery shall have but one purpose.”

While Abraham Lincoln is widely lauded for reuniting the North with the South and abolishing slavery from our country, no one has ever understood his valiant fight for what it really was. That is, until Seth Grahame-Smith stumbled upon The Journal of Abraham Lincoln, and became the first living person to lay eyes on it in more than 140 years.

Soooo those are your choices! Again, poll is on the right side and it will be open until the morning of October 1st.