#HamAlong – Post Five

Alrighty. Back on schedule (mostly).

  • Jefferson is as big of a worm as Burr. He wrangles a man into his employment and makes him write his Jeffersonian bullshit attacking A. Ham. Ugh. And also, he’s trying to turn Washington against Hamilton, but Washington is too smart for that shit.
  • And despite Washington basically begging Hamilton and Jefferson to just chill, Hamilton JUST CANNOT help himself. It’s amazing and kind of hilarious to watch.

  • Monroe, Muhlenberg, and Venable decide to let Hamilton know what they know, and were surprised and embarrassed to get an earful of his confessions of sexy-times with Maria Reynolds. Dude does not know how to keep his cool.
  • A. Ham decides that he wants to retire sometime soon and basically demands more investigations into himself, to make sure everyone knows he hasn’t done a damn thing wrong (besides, you know, cheat on his wife).
  • WTF is this Chernow? –>ย  “…Maria Reynolds was now prepared to tell everything she knew about her former husband’s relations with Hamilton – as if the loose-tongued Maria had ever muzzled herself before.

  • The French Revolution starts really happening, and poor Lafayette ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ย Hamilton was wrong, he wasn’t fine. I mean, he lives obviously, but he’s not exactly thriving.
  • Hamilton writes his Pacificus essays to talk about why we should remain neutral. I really wish that politicians still did shit like that, that they still wrote series of well-thought out essays defending their position on issues. Instead of just what we have now… generalized stances of things but constantly dodging answering direct complexย questions.
  • Jefferson wants Madison to write his own stuff to combat the Pacificus essays, and Madison is like “Yeah, I mean I would, but see I have all these people over and it’s really hot here, so maybe later.”
  • Jefferson is basically attacking Washington in his sketchy newspaper, but for some fucking reason Washington talks him out of resigning.
  • The Whiskey Rebellion happens…

  • Hamilton resigns and Washington emotes a little bit about that, which is adorable.
  • Chernow does a nice little summary of all the shit Hamilton managed to accomplish by the time he was 40, and it is just bananas.

I admit that I kind of flew through these chapters and actually did finish Thursday night, but I might have paid slightly less attention because I was hurrying. I don’t have a whole lot to say on this section, except I want to slap Chernow a bit, man Jefferson was aย dickhole, and I’m kinda sad now about Hamilton coming off the $10. I want ladies and POC on the money, but maybe we can change the other bills instead? Please?









  1. I love it every time Chernow talks about Washington taking advice from Hamilton. I am at the end of the first chapter of the next section, and there’s Washington being super sweet to Hamilton because he misses Hamilton being in government. BROOOOOOS.


  2. I don’t even live in the US but I do have an opinion on your money: if AHam needs to go, I want Eliza on it! (THE OOOORPHANAAAAGE)

    No wonder Chernow loves Hamilton so much, both of them have NO CHILL!


  3. “Dude does not know how to keep his cool.” How did Chernow not use this as a subtitle?

    I would love for politicians to write long essays like that, but only if they used snarky ancient nom de plumes.


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