This post is going to be literally FULL of spoilers. There will be nothing but spoilers and feelings. So if you haven’t seen Avengers: Age of Ultron yet, get your ass to a movie theater and then come back and read this.
So, I saw this on Friday the week it came out… and I was really taken aback by some things. So much so that it kind of threw me off and I left the theater not really knowing how I felt about it, but knowing I wanted to see it again. I saw it again last night, and am happy to say I enjoyed it much more this time around. And now I just want to gab about it. There will be lots of bullet-points and GIFs.
- The opening was kind of rough, right? The action was totally fun, and I loooooved that little part where they all jump over a log/truck together, but I think they kept trying to inject jokes and it felt very awkward and forced. The best one was the “language” one.
- I don’t like this Quicksilver. His accent is horrible. I know we couldn’t have the same actor that was in Days of Future Past because stupid Fox/Marvel ownership stuff, but that guy did it 1000x better.
- Scarlet Witch messes with Tony’s mind and he sees all of his friends and fellow Avengers dead, and it’s all his fault. Everyone bitches at Tony a LOT in this movie, but dude – he’s a good guy. He feels like he needs to protect everyone, and that’s awesome.
- Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver’s reasons for hating Tony are stupid.
- So Tony wants to play with the scepter and then he convinces Bruce to help him create artificial intelligence. I will always love watching the science boys science.
- One quick thing though – how is JARVIS not AI? Jarvis seems pretty self-aware, can disagree with Tony, can do things without being directed by Tony, can reason and plan… what am I missing here? Why wouldn’t Tony use JARVIS as his “suit of armor around the globe” protector thing? Tony isn’t the one who created Ultron in the comics, so maybe this is just a weird oversight…?
- I was kind of heart-broken when it seemed like JARVIS was gone.
- The party was weird and fun. This is where we get our first Bruce and Natasha flirtation… which I wasn’t totally thrilled about, but didn’t bother me. Yet. I’ll come back to their thing.
- Sooo… Ultron. He was so HUMAN. This is one of those things that completely threw me off the first time I saw it. I knew James Spader was voicing Ultron and I really like him and was excited about that. I saw NOT expecting Ultron to basically be Raymond Reddington in a robot suit. Spader can monologue and muse on humanity like a boss, but I was definitely expecting Ultron to be a little more cold and robotic. I was not expecting Spader’s LIP MOVEMENTS on the robot. That was weird.
- Ultron was kind of awesome in how he just creeped into the room and messed up the Avengers.
- Wakanda was mentioned! This is relevant to both Storm and Black Panther. And I have minimal experience with reading Storm and zero with Black Panther so far, but I still caught that. Yay.
- Sooo they go to try to stop Ultron from getting his hands on the vibranium, and that goes badly. But LOL forever at Quicksilver trying to grab Thor’s hammer.
- Scarlet Witch messes with everyone’s head. Thor has a really weird, confusing dream. Captain America has a sad dream. And Black Widow has a dream flashback thing, which was mostly very cool because we don’t get enough of her. And who knows what Bruce saw, but he Hulks out and goes on a rampage.
- Hulk versus Iron Man fight! So much fun and destruction. I love love love the idea of Veronica hovering up in space, ready to help out trying to contain him.
- Bruce sees how much damage he caused and how terrified people are and he feels awful. Seriously, I want a Mark Ruffalo Hulk movie. I have never been interested in the Hulk as a character, but now I so want that. Do the comics do a good tortured Hulk/Banner like this?
- Sooooo Hawkeye has a family? Ugh. Not a fan. Convenient place for Fury to show up, at least.
- Super awkward and intense scene between Bruce and Natasha. Alright, let me dive into this mess…
- I actually like the idea of Bruce and Natasha. That seems like a good pairing.
- I did NOT like this insta-love romance crap that came out of nowhere.
- It sucks that Black Widow is the only main female character and they gave her a romantic storyline. If it had been done well, I could have forgiven this.
- It is completely uncharacteristic of her to ever want to run away from her duties as an Avenger. Her whole THING is atoning for her past misdeeds by doing good deeds.
- And the kicker… the sterility thing. This immediately pissed me off. She goes on about how she can’t have kids because she was sterilized, and follows that with “So you think you’re the only monster?” This, to me, sounds like she is implying that she is a monster because she can’t procreate like a woman should.
- I KNOW that’s not how it was intended. I know Joss Whedon wouldn’t want to imply that, and I am relatively certain it’s not a message that Marvel was trying to send. This is just really, really sloppy editing. Did no one watch that completed scene and think to correct that??
- Her sterility didn’t even need to be brought up… it was weird and out of place. Save that for a Black Widow movie.
- Here’s an idea – movie makers should show their movie or scenes to a panel of women so that they can correct shit like this before it gets to the theaters.
- All the frustration at this.
- Aww, Hawkeye’s wife makes him feel like he’s more important than he is. I mean, I like the character and all, but dude. Calm yourself.
- So they go off to do things. Ultron is creating a new body for himself using vibranium, tissue, and the Mind gem. Uh oh.
- Scarlet Witch realizes Ultron is a bad guy. Finally.
- Lots of action happens, including Black Widow’s pretty awesome motorcycle scene. (Annoyance at more merchandising sexism here.)
- Somewhere in the midst of this, Thor goes to some water in some cave to finish is dream, and realizes that the mind stone is important and stuff. I would have been happier if this whole cave scene had been left out. It was unnecessary and ridiculous. He could have just mentioned later on that he figured out his dream. One sentence. Boom, done.
- They get the cradle back to Tony and he convinces Bruce AGAIN to play mad scientist and I love it.
- Everyone is fighting and Thor shows up to shut it down.
- VISION!!! Literally knew nothing about him going in (except for a tiny bit in the Ultron comics I read), but I loooooove him. I need to read Vision comics now.
- Ultron wants to use Sakovia as a meteorite to kill off humanity. Brilliant.
- Lots of action and fighting and trying to save civilians, which was cool.
- Hawkeye gives a nice little speech to Scarlet Witch, which I enjoyed.
- Seemed like Hawkeye was gonna die! Which I wouldn’t have been horribly opposed to. But nope, Quicksilver got it. Which I am also not opposed to.
- I admit that Renner’s comments totally affected my reaction to Hawkeye. It was in the back of my mind the whole time. Asshole.
- Hulk flies off at the end. My friend thought that this was because Bruce was mad at Natasha for making him Hulk out. I don’t think so, it seemed like more of a “I need to be by myself because I feel guilty for going on a murderous rampage and I’m too dangerous to be in a relationship/around people” thing.
- One of the podcasts I listen to mentioned that MAYBE this is a way for Marvel to give us a Hulk movie? I would be super happy if they surprised us with that, and I’d be much more forgiving of the awkward insta-love between him and Natasha.
- New Avengers! Falcon, War Machine, Scarlet Witch, and Vision. So excited about that, but a little concerned – this movie had WAY too much going on and juggled way too many characters. So that makes me nervous for future movies with even MORE characters. But I’m really, very excited and cannot waiiiiit for the next big movies to see them all in action.
Overall, I did still really enjoy this movie. The first movie was a lot better, and neater. But I’ll still see this again next month when the honeyman gets home, and I’ll be just as excited to see it.
Podcasts that did good episodes about the movie:
Alright, I think that about sums up my rants and fangirling… have you seen it? What did you think? TALK TO ME.