Harry Potter readalong! He’s ba-aaack…

Hey, it’s Harry Potter post day! And this isn’t going to be coherant at all…

So, Voldemort has made his return! DUN DUN DUNNNNNN! I don’t remember my exact feelings when I first read this book… I remember thinking the intricateness of the plot was kind of awesome, and an oh-shit kind of feeling at the end… but I don’t remember if I was ever afraid of Voldemort. You know how everyone in the HP world is all terrified of just saying his name, but the really brave ones actually say “Voldemort”? I’d be the cocky asshole calling him Voldy and poking fun at his missing nose.

I’d probably be the first one he killed…

For some reason I just want to pat Voldemort on the head. Kind of like Darth Vadar, he just doesn’t live up the super-scary expectations. Maybe it’s because of how bad they did him in the movies, or these hilarious memes, or the fact that come on… he’s the bad guy and these are kids books. Were any of us REALLY afraid that he would emerge triumphant? I have a hard time taking him too seriously. But I’m getting off track… he’s back! And he killed Cedric! And bad stuff is on the way!

On to the bullets!

  • I have such a hard time remembering that throughout this whole book, Moody isn’t really Moody! Young Crouch does an awesome job at blending in, I think. Well, not blending in… but in making sure that he comes off as a good guy. He really seems teacher-like, and he even fools all the teachers. He fools Dumbledore for the whole year! So you know, good job dude…
  • Why doesn’t Lil’ Crouch kidnap Harry at ANY time throughout this whole book? Like over by the forest when Harry was talking to Krum? I mean, did he HAVE to wait until Harry got to the Triwizard Cup? Is it just because Voldy likes to be a show-off? This plan could have gone SO wrong if Cedric decided “Yeah screw you, I’m gonna take the cup by myself.” That would have been an entire year of plotting wasted.

  • Page 616 is the first hint at a Fleur-Bill ship! ❤
  • Why exactly did Wormtail have to cut off his WHOLE hand? Really, a finger wouldn’t have done it? And jesus how sharp was that dagger to slice through his wrist/arm in one swipe?
  • Voldemort is the MASTER of bad-guy monologuing. His vanity and urge to be all dramatic is one giant flaw.

  • I thought that a Portkey could only be used once? In chapter 6 after they use the boot to get the the World Cup grounds, Mr. Weasley picks the boot up and hands it to someone. So how exactly was Harry able to use the Triwizard Cup to get back to Hogwarts?
  • Poor Cedric… He really was a good guy, even though Harry kind of hated him for diggin on Cho.
  • OMG the scene with Dumbledore and Fudge arguing in the hospital wing! I forgot about that scene, and how bad-ass Dumbly is. And what a stupid, stupid man Fudge is. Also, I love seeing Dumbledore start to give out orders and the wizards kind of gearing themselves up for a fight. Yay being proactive!
  • I really liked Krum, and I’m sad that he doesn’t end up being a bigger part of the series after this book. He wasn’t NEARLY as big of an ass as they make him out to be in the movie. (I just watched the movie the other day, since I haven’t seen it in years. I forgot how much they screwed up… ugh.)
  • I forget – does Rita Skeeter ever make an appearance again? Or does Hermione just kind of forget about her in that jar? Which would be HILARIOUS, by the way.
  • And awwww Fred & George. Yay Harry for helping them out.

OKAY so them’s my thoughts! I feel like I was a lot more nitpicky than I usually am, but I had some issues as we can see. What do ya’ll think?

On to Order of the Phoenix! Crap I already feel like crying… this is gonna be rough.






  1. OK this is me just spitballing but maybe the world cup portkeys were specifically made one way so that the volunteers didn’t have to worry about accidentally touching it and being transplanted to some middle of nowhere town every half hour.

    I LOVE that Voldy/education picture – such a considerate dude that Voldemort.

    Personally I wasn’t afraid OF Voldemort I was afraid FOR Harry. Because it might have been predictable that V would be defeated but Harry’s survival is less certain.


    1. Yeah that makes sense about the Portkey… I guess they could manage to make specifications like that when casting the spell or whatever.

      And yeah, I do remember being kind of afraid that Harry was going to die… but even now that seems silly cause come on, there’s no way an author would end a kid’s series with the death of the hero. LOL and that meme about Voldemort always waiting until the end of the year is so true! Its stuff like that that makes me think “Oh Voldy, he’s so silly…”


  2. >>>Why doesn’t Lil’ Crouch kidnap Harry at ANY time throughout this whole book? Like over by the forest when Harry was talking to Krum? I mean, did he HAVE to wait until Harry got to the Triwizard Cup? Is it just because Voldy likes to be a show-off? This plan could have gone SO wrong if Cedric decided “Yeah screw you, I’m gonna take the cup by myself.” That would have been an entire year of plotting wasted.

    Oh my God! This! This is why I am perpetually mad at this book. Because Voldemort and Crouch have an m.f. ridiculous plan that doesn’t make any sense at all. ARGH.

    Rita Skeeter does come back. And is actually sort of helpful even though she doesn’t want to be. But then she comes back again and makes me so angry (I wrote “hungry” originally. I’m really hungry this morning) by talking smack about Dumbledore so then she’s my enemy again.


  3. I hadn’t twigged on the whole portkey thing to be used twice. My main question is, why? If Barty bewitched it to be a portkey, there would be no need for anybody to use it to come back to hogwarts .
    Yeah, Krum turns out to be fairly interesting. He’s used WAY more in fanfiction. I would have liked to see much more of him than just the brief glance in book 7.

    AND WOW: that voldy photo about Harry’s education? Love it muchly.


    1. Hehehe these Voldy memes cracked me up. They were funnier than most of the gifs I saw when I was looking anyways.

      I would looooove for Rowling to write about Krum. He’s so interesting! If she ever revisits the HP world, that’s what she should do.


  4. “I’d be the cocky asshole calling him Voldy and poking fun at his missing nose.
    I’d probably be the first one he killed…” – bahahaha YES. And me too.

    So, as for Voldie/CJ waiting till the end of the year to grab Harry. I wonder if it had to do with the potion they had to make? Maybe it wasn’t ready sooner? Cos otherwise, it seems like it’d be way easier to just make a portkey out of something and be like “Oh Harry, can you hold this for a sec?”

    I’m so excited and so scared to read OotP.


    1. Yeah, maybe the potion took a long time. Polyjuice Potion takes a long time, so who knows how long a “bring your dark lord back from the brink of death” potion takes.

      And seriously, ANY object could’ve been used as a Portkey. And probably would’ve been more of a certain thing than the Cup that 3 other people are trying to get to as well.


  5. Haaaa, I totally thought of the monologuing thing when Voldemort was talking! It’s just like DUDE, get it over with! WHY ARE VILLAINS SO STUPID?!

    I completely forgot the scene where D-Dore and Fudge were fighting in the hospital wing. I LOVE it because 1) TOTAL setting up for OotP, and 2) D-Dore is so excellent. I’m also excited by how much I loved it, because I don’t have hugely fond memories of OotP, so… It could be good this time!


  6. Oh man, I LOVED Voldemort in the movies. Except for the first one, because WTF? But Ralph Finnes? Fantastic.

    Fudge is so frustrating I could die. His conversation with D-dore just made me angry, so, unlike Laura there, I’m worried about OotP! There will be much fist shaking at the Injustice of it All.


    1. I… don’t. I don’t think Voldemort looked scary enough in the movies, just kind of silly. I know they were going for the newborn-human-snake look, but I don’t think they did it well. He even looks like he has kind eyes! Not angry red slits for eyes like he’s supposed to. Also, he’s very flitty when it moves, if that makes any sense. I just wanna be like “stop prancing around, you look like you have to pee!”. It was really noticable in the graveyard scene in the movie.



    Love it! And yes, we’ll see Rita in the next book. I think Hermione blackmails her into writing up Harry’s version of events? Or something? Regardless, Hermione is a bad ass.

    And I totally was freaked out by the knife cutting off Wormtail’s hand in one go, too. I mean, I guess it’s better to pretend like that would work than to have him hacking at his wrist for several paragraphs. This is a kids’ book, after all…


    1. HAHAHAHA… yeah, I suppose going through the trouble of sawing off his hand would’ve been a tad much for the youngsters. But the practical side of me was like “One swipe? Yeah right.”

      Apparently the math stuff doesn’t bother me much, but how much effort should go into cutting off a limb is what irks me, lol.


  8. Maybe Portkeys can only be used once but JK IS BAD AT MATH and can’t tell the difference between ‘once’ and ‘a bunch of times or at least twice.’

    Poor Krum. Hermione was your Second Task Object And Therefore Highly Treasured Person and she is just using you to get Ron’s attention, and then you sort of drop out of the book and then are badly done in the movie. Poor Krum.


  9. I actually always find this movie to be the most loyal to the book, to a fault in fact. Sometimes it’s almost dull how strictly accurate it is. What did you find was messed up?


    1. I just watched the movie again last night, and I was kind of surprised by the things that had changed. Like no Bagman or Winky or Bill or Charlie at all. And Barty Crouch Jr. was tried and sent to Azkaban as an adult (and alone, rather than with the Lestranges), which doesn’t allow you to feel any sympathy for him, really. And Molly and Bill didn’t come to cheer on Harry at the tournament. And Fleur was kind of a wimp and not at all the bad-ass part-Veela she seemed to be in the book. But everything else was fairly spot on I guess.


    2. It was a lot of little things – they left out SO MUCH STUFF, and the guy that plays Dumbledore really drove me nuts. After just reading the book, I realized how much they really rushed things in the movie and it makes me wish they had actually made it into two movies, since it was one of the biggest books in the series.


  10. “Why exactly did Wormtail have to cut off his WHOLE hand?”

    YES, this bothered me so much. I mean, flesh of the servant given freely IS A WHOLE HAND, but flesh of the enemy taken by force is just, a little nick? That is backwards.

    “Voldemort is the MASTER of bad-guy monologuing.”

    To be FAIR, Lucius did ASK to hear the whole story. So…V was just obliging, even if he did REALLY enjoy it.


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